You Don’t Find Community, You Build It: 8 Ways to Start Connecting With People

Ok, ya’ll, if you’ve been reading The Spark, you know I just moved back to Detroit.

In some ways, Detroit feels like home. I have a few friends here and all of my family. I know how to get around (mostly) without GPS. I have my favorite spots in my neighborhood. It’s familiar.

And in other ways… it’s not home at all.

Right now it’s cold and gray. My friends here aren’t my everyday friends, the ones I have group chats with about movies and dinner. I don’t have a mechanic here yet (and yes, I absolutely cried when I left my Burbank mechanic for the last time…I think he cried too…no regrets).

I’m from here. But I don’t have a current community here.

My cousin might disagree. I’ve been back for about three weeks, and we’ve already gone out twice. Both times, I ran into people I know. So clearly, there’s something here. Threads. Loose connections. The beginnings of something.

But that’s kind of the point.

Community doesn’t just exist fully formed. It’s something you build.

This isn’t just about moving to a new city. 

Even if you stay in the same place your whole life, community can shift. People move. Lives change. Priorities evolve. And suddenly, the thing that once felt effortless takes intention.

The good news?

I’m not starting from zero.

Thankfully, I have my Epiphany Space community.

That means I already have:

• People I can check in with weekly
• Creative accountability
• Conversations that go deeper than mundane small talk
• A sense of belonging that isn’t tied to a physical location

It’s been a lifeline for me over the last month! 

When you feel connected somewhere, it makes it easier to find community in other areas of your life. 

Epiphany Space is the anchor. Real life is going to be a little adventure. 

So, if you just moved or just need to shake things up a bit, here are some ways I’m thinking about it right now:

1. JOIN A CLASS

A class gets you out of the house.  A class keeps you showing up consistently.

You go to the same place every week where you’ll see the same people.  Pretty soon that spot you choose to put your yoga mat, leads to a conversation.  The conversation leads to a coffee after class.  Boom.  You have your new BFF! 

Personally, I’m debating a belly dancing class or pilates. Will I be good? Irrelevant. Will I meet people? Of course! 

2. Find Your Coffee Shop

Not a coffee shop. Your coffee shop.

Maybe someplace local.  Visit the same place a couple of times a week with your computer and sunny personality, and the baristas will know you in no time.  They might even remember your drink order.  You stop being a stranger. 

I’ve been working from the library lately, which I love, but I think I need a hybrid approach. A couple days at the library, a couple days at a coffee shop where I can actually interact with people.

Like Cheers, community expands when everybody starts to know your name. 

3. Attend Smaller Events

Ok, the key here is small events.  Big events are fun. But they’re also easy to go unnoticed. 

If your goal is connection, smaller events are where it’s at. Workshops, panels, open mics, creative gatherings. Places where conversation is part of the experience, not an interruption.

When I first moved to Nashville, I used to go to ANYTHING music-related.  Shows, of course, but also record store events, festivals.  I still have friends that I met in lines at autograph signings.  I doubt I still have the autographs.  

4. Volunteer

What’s a cause you’re passionate about?  Or even just care about a little?  Volunteering is a great way to meet people who care about the same things that you do. 

Instead of just making small talk, you get to partner with potential new friends toward a shared goal.  It’s a different energy. 

Check local organizations and community boards; you’re sure to find something to pique your interest.

5. Join a Club

Classes are great, but clubs go deeper.

Book clubs. Record clubs. Knitting clubs.   

These spaces ask you to show up and share something. Your thoughts, your opinions, your perspective.

That little layer of vulnerability? That’s where connection starts to stick.

6. Host Something Yourself

Okay, this one is a little bold. And definitely not for everyone. But it can work. 

A craft night. A writing night. A movie hang.

This can start with just one other person. Years ago, at Epiphany Space, one of our members wanted to start a song circle.  I showed up with her every week until she got a group of regulars going!  Can’t find what you’re looking for.  Start it yourself! 

(Epiphany Space is looking for Collective hosts in other cities, let us know if you’re interested and we’ll help you set up a group!)

7. Say Yes (At Least at the Beginning)

It’s easy to get overwhelmed when you’re on the adventure of meeting new people but it’s important to remember to say YES when opportunities come your way. 

A casual invite. A group hang. A “you should come to this.”

Say yes. We all need rest, but don’t let that become your default.  Sometimes getting up and getting out will give us the energy we need.  (I’m also aware that I’m saying this as an extra-extrovert…so…do what works for you.)

Right now, you’re planting seeds.  You will never meet anyone if you’re default is always “no.”

I have to really put this one into action; I think my mom set me up on a play-date with her friend’s daughter who also just moved back to town.  I rolled my eyes so hard when my mom got back from the grocery store but who knows, I might find a new friend. 

8. Start With a Creative Community

Okay, here’s the pitch for Epiphany Space.  I know you were waiting for it….Join something like Epiphany Space.

It’s a lot easier to walk into the world when you already feel seen somewhere.

Epiphany Space gives you:

• A consistent place to show up
• People who are also looking for connection
• Conversation beyond small talk
• Opportunities to collaborate and grow

And for a lot of people, it becomes the bridge to in-person relationships. Online doesn’t replace real life. It supports it.

At the end of the day, community isn’t something you stumble into.

It’s something you build through small, repeated moments.  Showing up, saying hi and then repeating that again. 

It’s slow. It’s imperfect.

But it’s happening.

And that’s how community begins.